But if the modern American man can be defined by the schlubby, stoned toddlers of recent Judd Apatow movies and their cinematic ilk (the Zach Galifianakising of American manhood if you will), then the twenty-first century Czech male is certainly no worse, and in fact may even prove a better, mate. For those weighing the pros and cons of a cross-cultural affair, some points in favor of Czech men:
10. Czech men will always tell you how you look.
A quality that I truly admire in Czechs (both men and women) is their startling bluntness. The American capacity for frilly, over-polite distortions of obvious truth, isn’t something I really miss. While your significant other denying the muffin top peeking out of your jeans may spare your feelings it’s still dishonest.
9. Czech men don’t over analyze.
Czech men aren’t exactly hand-wringing Woody Allen types. Perhaps it’s due to the language barrier, but lengthy discussions of the “what-exactly-are-we” nature don’t seem to occur with them. You’ll never hear a Czech guy label your “situation” as that of “amazing friends with this intense physical connection who just aren’t totally ready to hang it all out there emotionally.”
Is there something about public transportation that brings out the latent octopus in all Czech men? As a blushing Midwesterner first come to this land, I immediately took note of the extended Metro make-out as a marquee cultural difference. Women previously beleaguered by shy guys will find Czech men refreshingly on board for cuddling of the highly visible sort.
7. Czech men don’t play games.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve studied a text message from a would-be Czech suitor, reading between the lines of the phrase “I have very busy program tomorrow,” searching for some subtle suggestion of blow off, then firing back a sassy retort only to be met with his complete bewilderment. If a Czech man says he’s really busy then he probably is (see #10).
In a 2011 survey tallying World Penis Size and compiled by Everyoneweb.com, a Web site providing “statistical information offered by trusted research centers and reports worldwide” Czechs placed third in Europe, surpassed only by Frenchmen (#2) and Hungarians (#1).
5. Czech men don’t wear baseball caps.
A recent International Business Times article decried the global proliferation of baseball caps as a “symptom of society’s seemingly permanent deterioration”. Czech men and fashion still have a long way to go, but this is one dowdy look they haven’t latched onto. (And that’s because their mothers warned them they’d go bald if they did).
4. Czech men will shower you with pet names.
The Czech language is so awash with diminutives that it’s often referred to by our neighbors to the north as “baby Polish”. In Czech a single, loving endearment can be stretched into a variety of sweet nothings. Phrases like zlato, zlatka, and zlatíčko (honey, little honey, and really little honey) don’t register the same romantic kick in English.
That Czech men can be frighteningly cheap—pulling out Sodexho coupons on dates, traveling with their own řízky—goes without saying. But living with one has put my own spending habits into perspective, making me a more selective and discerning consumer, able to better recognize the difference between need and want in a society where the latter isn’t such ancient history.
2. Czech men won’t think less of you after casual sex.
Western society’s (read men’s) deeply held notions of how we women should conduct ourselves often sullies sexual pleasure with the fear of post-coital fall-out (Will he think I’m easy? Is he using me?). Czech men don’t read into casual sex; rather than something loaded with innuendoes it’s more of a national pastime.
1. Czech men aren’t afraid of commitment.
Pragmatism may supersede romance for Czech men (living together means splitting the rent, after all) but they’re typically direct and serious—see #7—which equates to someone who’s less likely to waffle on questions of long-term commitment.