Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Miluji tě, tvoje Evička

Žádná smrt nemůže být zlá,
které předchází dobrý život.
               - V. M. Kramerius

Last week we lost a beautiful man.  A man who loved with all his heart, put his family before himself, saw the beauty in nature and all of God's creatures, didn't have a selfish bone in his body, and lived his life with a passion.  Last week I lost my beloved DinDin.  

With tears running down my cheeks and eyes blurred by tears, I share this not because I want your sympathy, but because it makes me feel better to express my love for him and because I think that maybe, just maybe, he's reading it wherever he may be.  I can only hope that he's with his loved ones...with his beloved wife who he lost 18 years ago this December, and whom he never stopped loving. 

DinDin didn't want us to be sad, he didn't even want me to know of his passing until after the service, but my father couldn't hold that wish, for which I'm thankful.  It seems that he knew his time was coming; that he made peace with it and was ready to move on from this life.  Maybe that's what is so hard for me...to think he was ready, to think that maybe I could have done something to make him want to stay longer.  And it tears my heart in two knowing that I didn't get one more chance to hold him; one more chance to tell him that I love him.  

He knew we'd cry, and he said that's ok because tears are cleansing, but he wanted us to remember him with a smile and a glass of wine, schnapps or beer.  This is how he'd want to be remembered...happy, always toasting to life

 God looked around His garden
and He found an empty place. 

He then looked down upon this earth
and He saw your tired face. 

He put His arms around you
and lifted you to rest. 

God's garden must be beautiful.
He only takes the best. 

My father chose this song for the service because in so many ways the words are perfect for DinDin's life...it's beautiful, makes me cry, but is beautiful, touching, and true.  DinDin did see the beauty in things so many of us take for granted, and I'm glad to have learned that appreciation from him.

 DinDin, my entire life you have been there, watching over me, teaching me, making me laugh and comforting me when I was sad.  I'm sad now, and although I would love nothing more than to hear your voice or hug you , I'm taking comfort in knowing you're still with me, watching over me, by my side...and always will be.  

Miluji tě,
tvoje Evička